As you know I am taking a Creative Writing Class this semester. Last week it was Exam Time. We were not given any clues as to what the exam would be and we were not allowed to bring anything with us. We were asked to submit a portion of our current project. Not to tell about it but to literally bring him into the story. I decided to go with preface and just let the words flow:
DeeAnn flitted around the garden like a humming-bird with her blond hair shining silver in the moonlight and floating around her face like a frothy cloud. She lifted a large magnolia blossom to her fulsome nose and inhaled deeply before tucking into the top of her light blue bodice.
“Me mum started this garden before she passed.” Her whisper was choked with the burden of her loss and she turned her muddy brown eyes towards Rashu. “Do ye think Tiago loves me really?” The plea in her voice was obvious; she wanted desperately to be loved again.
Rashu rolled his eyes and recited his answer, the one he’d given her a hundred times already. “Guardians don’t feel love. Loyalty and devotion, yes, but rarely love.”
“You love Emilia.” It was a statement. Everyone knew he’d fallen in love with his mo cara ama, though no one could figure out what made her special. She was just another human.
“Yes, but…” Suddenly he staggered forward and was nearly brought to his knees by the waves of fear rolling through his mind. The fear wasn’t his, but rather Emilia’s pulsing through the invisible bond that has connected them for centuries.
As he bolted through the woods DeeAnn called after him, “You can’t leave me! You’re not allowed!”
She turned slowly from the garden and headed up the worn path towards her father’s cottage warily. The night air was cool, a light breeze ruffled the bushes along the path causing her to jump and she giggled nervously at her own foolishness. As she approached the heavy wood door a slender figure materialized from the shadows and she froze.
She was the most beautiful woman DeeAnn had even seen with luminous green eyes and fiery red hair cascading down her back, past her tapered waist. Her pale skin seemed to reflect the moon above giving her an ethereal appearance. She relaxed at the sight of the woman who appeared so harmless.
“Where is your Guardian, sweet child? Does he not know the dangers of leaving another’s mo cara ama vulnerable?” The woman’s gravelly voice was such a startling contrast to her beauty that DeeAnn began to back up slowly. The woman stepped forward and DeeAnn glanced down, catching a glimpse of a black hoof before it disappeared beneath the hem of her skirt.
“Boabhan sith? No…no…no…” DeeAnn she her head adamantly and repeated the denial over and over as if she could make her disappear just by willing it so.
The woman simply smiled. A wicked smile that started small then stretched wider and wider, revealing her gleaming white teeth. All DeeAnn could see where the fangs.
Rashu approached the cottage cautiously. He was embarrassed that he’d taken off the way he did. Guardians never leave their charges alone. They’re supposed to be able to trust each other to keep their mates safe. It was one of the reasons their society ran so smoothly. He should have known Tiago would keep Emilia safe just as he always…
The smell of blood coated his nostrils like the heady scent of roses in the spring and he picked up the pace, galloping to the front of the cottage. As he rounded the small building he stopped in his tracks. This time when he staggered he did fall to his knees.
From the puddle of blood on the small brick walk there was a trail of blood and hoof marks leading towards the woods. Rashu threw his senses as wide as he could but there was nothing more than the creatures that inhabited the area. And then e took in the symbol on the door. The Triple Moon, drawn crudely in blood and completely filled in. When drawn as only an outline this was a beautiful symbol; the maid, the mother, and the crone, the Queen and all female relations. However, when filled in this way it meant only one thing.
The boabhan sith.
Amanda, this is convincingly rendered. We’re in a strange world and things are happening and you’re describing it with precision and creativity. We always want our writing to be detailed, which the writing is here, and in fantasy I think we need the reality set even more clearly to make it even more real. A poet, I think, once said something like, if you’re going to have a fantasy garden, make sure you have a real toad in it. I think you’re doing that here.